When I was in grade school, I went to a French Immersion school, where French was the primary language of instruction. The philosophy is that children will learn a second language quickly and proficiently if they are completely immersed in the language. I went to a regular public kindergarten, and then my parents switched me to the French school. Teachers speak and teach in only French.
After my very first day of first grade, I came home in tears. When my mom asked me what was wrong, I tearfully told her, “My teacher doesn’t like me!” My mom remembered Madame Larson being very sweet that morning, so she asked me, “What makes you say that?” I sniffled, remembering the long, difficult first day, and cried, “She only talks jibberish to me!”
I’m getting ready to start school next week for the first time since I graduated three years ago. I’m pursuing my Graduate certificate in Biblical Studies and it’s safe to say I’m almost a little nervous. I’ve never considered myself much of an intellectual. I much preferred the social aspects of school like gym and lunch and college was really just a game of How Quick Can I Graduate and Join The Real World, (what was I thinking?!). But a few months ago, I felt God leading me to pursue a deeper knowledge of the Bible, and despite my insistence that I’m no scholar, I found myself in the admissions office filling out the paperwork.
And the other day, when I got my syllabus, and saw the heavy concepts we’d be studying and the big words and the massive papers I’d be writing, I heard the voice of that same tearful first grader inside me saying, “This is all jibberish to me!” Immediately the Liar swooped in to remind me what a foolish idea this whole school thing was. You’ll never hack it with those Bible scholar types. You’re in way over your head and when they see how little you know, no one is going to take you seriously. You’re just not smart enough. Who do you think you are?
And before I could nod along and agree, I felt an assurance that said firmly, “You’re my daughter. That’s who you are. And there is nothing you can’t do without me. You are going to be great!”
And that’s all it took. One word from my Father and suddenly I saw myself in a whole new light. I realized that if God led me to study his word, he’ll help unveil it and illuminate it for me. That’s what he does. He’ll guide us at our jobs, in our schools, as mothers and wives, in our ministries and pastimes. He waits until we realize we can’t do it without him and then he relishes to see us lean into him for guidance and strength.
Because we are his daughters and there is nothing we can’t do without him.
-Cari
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