It has taken me twenty four years of parenting to figure this out but I finally have started to see what an amazing guide Galatians 5 is in parenting. Verses 22 and 23 list the “fruits” (the spirit led attitudes) that will grow when our lives are surrendered to the Spirit of God.

Think about it, according to that scripture, the evidence of spiritual growth in our life is the healthy fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It only makes sense that a goal in parenting would be to cultivate the soil in our kids’ hearts and minds to be healthy, nutrient-filled, well-tended (yes that means attending to the weeds that sprout up) soil. Soil that will grow healthy strong, tasty and nutritious fruit!

When children are little it’s so easy to cultivate that soil; so easy to make sure it is jam packed with nutrients, well tended and weed free! But the older they get the quicker the weeds grow, even if the soil is still receiving nutrients. Some of the weeds are seeds the world has planted. Unfortunately, some are weeds whose roots can be traced right back to our own lives!

I have learned it is crucial to recognize the weeds in our own lives early on. It not only benefits us but our kids benefit too if we can get to the root of them and get them plucked out! Unfortunately those weeds are so pesky! And sometimes those roots go so deep.

It reminds me of dandelions and thistles. One is a nuisance , the other can be downright painful, and both are a bother! They grow quickly especially if there is a lack of time or desire to deal with them. In fact little care is needed to grow a bumper crop of those babies! But they are weeds, not fruit, and the problem with weeds is they can choke out healthy seeds. They crop up all over the place, prolific little pests that they are!

How many of those weeds do we, by our lack of dealing with them, actually cultivate in the family plot? I can think of one of the weeds – the words we use! Yup, that’s an easy one to spot. As parents how many of us have been a wee bit embarrassed to hear Junior voice a little exclamation, or words of negativity, that we can trace right back to our mouths! Ouch! That’s a dandelion that wasn’t dealt with and ended up going to seed and spreading itself over the fertile soil of our kids’ hearts and minds!

Another weed that grows quickly is lack of stewardship – either with the hours in our day, our stuff, or our cold hard cash. (the Bible references those things as our time, our treasures, our talents) Attentiveness to the weeds of lack of stewardship and discipline in every area of our lives can lead to much freedom in the future for ourselves and for our children!

May I put it bluntly? As adults, if there is a “weed” – an issue, a battle, a bad-habit, an addiction, an attitude, a sin – in our lives that we struggle with and do not attend to, we are, whether we intend to or not, cultivating that very same weed into the hearts and lives of the young people that we love so very much!

And the same can be said of the fruit we nurture in them. Show me an adult who has intentionally invested the seeds of healthy fruit into the life of a child and I will show you a child who has learned great lessons for the future.

Lessons that will help them live life in a healthy way – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Our children are our future leaders. It is my hope that our future leaders will be strong and healthy – healthy physically, healthy in their attitudes and relationships with others, and healthy, very healthy, in their relationship with their heavenly Dad.

For that to happen the children in our lives need adults (that’s us!) who are investing in them, taking time to teach wise decision making skills, making sure that spiritual fruit, not unhealthy weeds, are being cultivated in their habits, their minds, and their hearts! Sometimes it means pulling weeds that have grown a deep root – never a fun task but always necessary!

Galatians 6:7-8 continues in this garden tending theme: Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others – ignoring God! – harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit, do the growth work in him harvests a crop of real life, eternal life. (The Message)

Of course this chapter continues on into one of my life verses – and most prayed prayers – “So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up or quit.” (verse 9)

Our attentiveness to the garden – to the soil of our own and our kids lives – is crucial.

Don’t give up!

Until next time.

Beth

The passing of the legendary John Wooden has given many opportunities to read of his life and the character traits that made him an exceptional coach. His quotes, known as “Woodenisms” are life lessons in and of themselves.

A few of my favorites are:

“Never mistake activity for achievement.”

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

“It isn’t what you do, but how you do it.”

“If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?”

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.”

(ESPN.com – The Wizard’s wisdom: Woodenisms; Source: CoachWooden.com)

Words to live by from a humble man who did what he did “as for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). He had the opportunity to impact lives, and he took it. Often making decisions that were unpopular with those he led, but true to the principals he lived by.

What I see most often as I read about this man is that he didn’t just say it he lived it.

That is who I want to be as I “coach” my kids in life; as I mentor the girls in my small group; as I work alongside young people in the workplace. I don’t want to just tell them what I think is important; I want to live it out.

When our kids hear the word “work” I don’t want them to just remember “Mom and Dad made us work” but that “Mom and Dad showed us how!” I want them to remember that a good attitude is the best tool in the toolbox and will affect the outcome almost as much as our skill level!

I want them to strive for success but to remember the victory comes in the striving as much as it does the achieving. When we don’t even try we lose every time!

For all of this to happen I need to remember that truly “more is caught than taught”. Yes, I need to teach those lessons verbally, telling them what will be beneficial to them in life. But, oh so much more, I need to model the lessons each and every day in the way I live.

If we are not intentional about modeling a good attitude or a good work ethic, if we are not intentional about being a good example, we run the risk of teaching something we’d rather not have caught! I remember a conversation with a young person where I said “you are a hard worker just like your mom!” The response I received took me by surprise: “I don’t want to be a hard worker like my mom, I want to be lazy like my dad!” That unexpected response has stuck with me thru the years.

Those words made me look at my life and ask “what are they learning by my actions, not just by my words?” I am sure that child’s dad never said, “be lazy” – no parent ever sets out to teach his or her child to not succeed. But in not being intentional about teaching and modeling the value of work, of stewardship, of relationships, that is exactly what we as parents have the potential to do. The same is true of coaches, of teachers, of anyone who has the opportunity to speak into the life of others – hey wait, that would be each and every one of us!

John Wooden knew that. He impacted many people – not just those who played for him – by speaking truth, yes, but even more by putting his words into action.

That is the call on each and every one of our lives. We all have a circle of influence. The size of the circle doesn’t matter, what matters is that we are speaking words of life and truth, and modeling the character of Christ by living it out in our lives.

“Don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.” (Colossians 3:23-25 The Message)

That pretty much sums it up, don’t you think? John Wooden said, “it isn’t what you do, it’s how you do it” and the Word of God would add “and Who you do it for”.

Until next time.

Beth

Last week we talked about what makes us feel significant. The fact that we are valued enough by God for Him to send His Son to die for our sins should remind us constantly just how significant we are!

Knowing our significance to Him should free us up to make choices that we would never consider otherwise! Knowing our significance to Him should give us the confidence to use our gifts, our talents, and our abilities as a way to shine bright for Him – to reflect His glory in an often dark and desperate world. Knowing our significance to Him should give us the courage to make choices that are misunderstood – even mocked – by a world that doesn’t acknowledge Him. And knowing our significance to Him should give us an attitude so chock full of gratitude that it impacts the way we do the things we do! So tell me, are you living a life of freedom, confidence, courage, and joy?

Have you ever noticed that we, as followers of Christ, have a tendency to live defeated lives? Always worrying about what others might think; often mad about what we see as injustice inflicted upon us; sometimes allowing the fear of failure to keep us from even beginning a healthy pursuit?

Why is it that we fear man’s approval instead of pursuing God’s best for our lives? Why are we so afraid of what others will think of us if we choose to live life in a way that makes no sense to the world in which we live but perfect sense according to the Word of God? Let’s look at a couple of areas that the Bible has much to say about – but make no sense according to the way of the world:

Being joyful – counting it all joy when we experience trials. Are we as Christians living that out in a faith-filled “God is for me” manner? Or are our attitudes just as fearful, grouchy, woe-is-me, doom and gloom, “that’s not fair!” as those who have no hope in Christ? Do we recognize trials as an opportunity for growth or do we simply see them as messing with the plans I have for my day, my week, and my life?

The world might say we are foolish to be thankful always, but God’s word tells us different! Thanksgiving and joy are words that are used over and over again in the Bible. We are told to not be anxious about ANYTHING (Philippians 4:6); to give thanks in ALL circumstances (1Thessalonians 5:16); to count it all joy WHEN (not if) we experience trials (James 1:2). If we believe that God is for us, then we should also believe that He has good reason to instruct us to be joyful and full of thanksgiving, even when – perhaps especially when – life doesn’t make sense!

Work – according to the word of God, it’s not so much the job we do but the WAY in which we do it! Our work ethic and attitude is an opportunity to reflect the faithfulness and creativity of The One who created us in His image! Remember, God was the original worker – He didn’t just think about creating the universe, He DID it! Time and time again we read that it is not as much about the work we do (or our job title) but our faithfulness and the attitude we are to do it with (Matthew 25:14-30, Philippians 2:14-15). Christians should be THE BEST employees and employers in the world! Colossians 3:23 tells us “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord not for men.” I can worship Him in my work – and in my play – if my attitude is God-focused instead of centered on me, on my pain or my gain.

The world says “what’s in it for me?” but God’s word tells us that work is necessary, good for us, and – when done with the right attitude – brings glory to God. God knew work was important, a benefit for mankind, not something to be avoided. Once again, if we believe that He is for us we should also believe that it is to our benefit to work – with all our heart – and to be thankful for the opportunity!

Giving – the idea of a tithe of 10% boggles and baffles the mind of an unbeliever. But God’s word says “…test Me in this, and see if I will not open the floodgates of Heaven!” (Malachi 3:8-10) If God has put it in His word there is an excellent reason for it – remember He is FOR us! As followers of Christ, recognizing all He has generously given to us, we should be known for our generosity.

Finding our significance in Christ frees us to make choices that make no sense to the world, but make every sense to the One Who is for us. The One Who is more concerned about our character than our comfort. The One Who delights in our healthy growth even more than our pursuit of happiness.

Just as happiness follows healthiness, true comfort follows character. If we as followers of Christ can simply choose to live by His word, instead of allowing ourselves to be wooed by what the world says gives us value, we will find our true significance -and an overwhelming joy and peace that will permeate our world in the process!

Until next time.

Beth

I’ve mentioned before that I have fun hanging out with my Small Group of teenage girls from our church. They are a lively crew with lots of thoughts and ideas rolling around in their beautiful heads! As a group we decided to read the book entitled “Guys Are Waffles, Girls Are Spaghetti”, by Chad Eastham. If you are a teenager, have teenagers in your home, or in your world, I would highly recommend reading it! The goal of the book is to try to explain the workings of the teenage mind in a funny, appropriate, and informative manner – a pretty big subject to tackle but the book does it well! (There is also an adult version of this book by Bill and Pam Farrel, I haven’t read that one – yet)

One of the topics we covered, thanks to this book, is the issue of what makes us “significant” – what makes us feel like we have value. As adults we often see ourselves as significant based on the job we have, the car we drive, the home we live in, and the activities we are involved in. I believe that one of the reasons we are a nation of “busy” people is that we often tie our activity level to our level of significance. It’s a trap that the evil one would like to see us caught up in because he knows the busier we are the less time we tend to spend with God.

It’s not so different for teens. Their feelings of significance may not come from the exact same areas but the root is still the same – being “significant” makes a person feel valued.

For teenagers this can show up in the area of grades, sports, boyfriends/girlfriends, the car they drive, the attention they can generate (either good or bad). This is why you have class clowns as well as class bullies. It’s why a girl may be known as a flirt or a guy a player. It’s why some dress all in black, while others need to have the newest label from the trendiest store. The search for significance knows no gender or age limitations. It is an equal-opportunity pursuit!

Yet when our choices are made based on our need to feel valued they often hold long-lasting consequences that we fail to take into consideration when we make them. Like the car payments we can’t afford. Or the date – or business deal – with the person we know we have no business getting involved with, or the willingness to give into peer pressure for the sake of being accepted. Parents can fall into this trap when feeling “needed” by our children causes us to do for them what they need to learn to do for themselves.

When we tie our significance to a “feeling” of being needed/important/valued we are finding our identity in what we do and our value in what others think of us.

When we don’t feel significant simply in being who God says we are (His child) and who He created us to be it is as if we are telling Him “You’re just not enough”. “Lord, I know that You love me and have plans for me but that’s just not enough” Ouch. When we allow other people or activities to feed our self-worth we will not be hungry for Him.

I remember someone once telling me (years ago) “when you don’t “need” a boyfriend, when you’re not even sure you “want” a boyfriend, that is when you are emotionally ready to date”. Hmmm – that really wasn’t what I wanted to hear at that point in my life, but you know what? They were right. The same can be said about the other choices we make, when we think we “need” something in order to feel important, respected or valued, we are probably not in the best position emotionally to make that decision.

It’s not because someone thinks we’re looking good, it’s not because we get good grades or a large paycheck, or have an amazing singing voice, or can tell really funny jokes! It’s not because we’re good at sports, or drive a high-dollar car, it’s not because of anything we can DO that we are significant. It’s not because someone “needs” what we have to offer! We are significant because God says we are. His love for us has nothing to do with where we work, how much we make, what we drive, the clothes we wear, the people we know, the places we go, the house we live in – or the things we fill our homes with! Those things may be part of His plan to use our gifts and abilities for His glory; they may be part of the blessings He has allowed into our lives – but those things are not what gives us our significance. If they are taken away from us we still are significant in God’s eyes!

We need to be so deeply into God that every choice we make will be made recognizing the potential that our decision will have in taking our eyes off of Him; recognizing that nothing we have, own, drive, wear, or are, will change our significance in His eyes. Recognizing that our goal as followers of Christ is not make people think they need us but to point them to their need for Him!

Your significance to God gives you the freedom not to settle for anything less than His plans for you. Your significance to God gives you the freedom to accept disappointment, knowing that He has plans for you in spite of those disappointments – and HE is enough!

His plans for you are so good…how do I know that? ‘Cause the Bible tells me so! Right there in Jeremiah 29:11-14: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord”.

In the Message it says: “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. Yes, when you come looking for me, you’ll find me. When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed – GOD’S Decree”

Yup, He kinda thinks you’re wonderful – and He has great plans for you and for me! All we have to do is get serious about finding Him and want His will for our lives more than anything else – we need to seek Him with ALL of our hearts (not just the part that’s left after we fill it with everything else) He’ll make sure we won’t be disappointed!

Until next time.

Beth

So where were we? Oh yeah, I remember! Getting into God’s word on a daily basis – check out www.oneyearbibleonline.com Yup, it’s that simple! Click on the link and it will take you to a webpage where you can read God’s word in a daily reading format on your computer or however you access the Internet. You can choose, with one click, to read thru the Bible chronologically or have a daily portion from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs.

You can choose if you want to read from the New King James (NKJ), the New International Version (NIV), The Message, or another of the twenty-two translations offered – and you can choose what language you would like to read it in! There’s even a commentary for folks like me who sometimes read a portion of scripture and say “Huh?” and need to have it explained a little more. It is just one of many websites offered to help folks get God’s word into their lives each and every day. My husband uses a daily reading plan found at www.Christianity.com – there are many sites to choose from.

I, on the other hand, am a little more old-fashioned. I like to sit and read with a highlighter and pencil by my side. I like to mark my Bible (and other books I read) with reminders, with exclamation points, with notes about what has spoken to my life.

It wasn’t always that way. As I’ve said before, when I first started reading I read because I knew I should, I read in order to be able to say I’d done it. The motive was wrong, but the method and means were right on.

But something happened thru the years – when I found myself saying “Huh?” as I read my One Year Bible in the New Living Translation, I wanted to dig deeper to find more meaning. I’d pull out my dad’s Bible (an old and falling apart King James Version) to see if he wrote any notes about that particular portion of scripture, or turn to my NIV to see what the Life Application folks said about that verse; or look in The Message to see how Eugene Peterson had translated those words to today’s language. My daily Bible reading became a desire, instead of a duty. A highlight in my day, and in my Bible!

Today I took a look at some of the verses I’ve highlighted over the past decade.

Some made me smile – like the one from Psalm 57, verse 7 – “My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises!” The first time that verse jumped out at me was on a Sunday morning. How do I know? Because I have a distinct memory of writing it down (after I’d highlighted it in pink =) and taking it to church with me to share with my fellow worship team members! That’s why we praise Him, that’s why we sing – because our hearts are confident in Him!

Some notes and highlights bring back memories of tough times – like Psalm 144:1: “Bless the Lord Who is my rock. He gives me strength for war and skill for battle.” I wrote in the margin “parenting” – must have been a tough week at our house! “He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety my deliverer. He stands before me as a shield, and I take refuge in Him. He subdues my people under me.” I put quotation marks around the word “people”. I’m pretty sure the word “children” was in the “Beth translation”. Several days later I noted Psalm 145:14 “The Lord.lifts up those bent beneath their load.” Oh yeah, I remember those days, and looking back I can say with confidence “Great is God’s faithfulness!”

Those memories of His faithfulness are with me today when I face those moments of “Oh No!” in my life. They give perspective to the verses that tell us to “Count it all joy when you face trials of every kind” or “Rejoice in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”, or “Rejoice in the Lord, ALWAYS.” (caps mine) My One Year Bible has become my journal for life’s journey. Reminding me time and time again that God’s word is truth, even when life doesn’t make sense.

There are many, many, more highlights and notations on the pages of my Bible. When I read thru them in the years that follow they are a reminder to “Remember”. God is always telling us in His word to “Remember” – so that we learn from the past, and don’t have to keep making the same mistakes in the future; so that we don’t forget the victories when we are in the midst of a battle; so that we keep our eyes focused on Him instead of on our circumstances. Remember, ah yes. Such a good thing to do in regards to God’s word, His love for us, and His faithfulness to all generations.

Back when I began this daily Bible reading journey I remember singing a song with the worship team called “The Word of God is Changing Me”. Yup, that’s what it does for a heart that is willing, wanting, to be changed.

But it can’t change us from the outside. It has to be IN us in order to do the work that God intends for it to do. Water can clean the outside of our bodies but it will not quench our thirst unless we drink it.

The Living Water found in God’s word is the same way. We can sit in church, we can listen to Christian radio, teaching, music, over and over and over again. But until we get it IN us, it cannot do the work of hydrating the soil of our souls in order for the seeds to take root and the fruit to grow.

I can no longer find the sheet music to the song I referenced earlier but the line I remember most is “The Word of God is changing me, it’s calling me to know You more, the Word of God brings life to me, I believe, I believe, in the Word of God” Yup, I believe, the changing power of the Word of God brings life – abundant life – to those who are willing to be trained, cultivated, changed, nourished, hydrated, and surrendered to the Truth that it holds.

Each and every day the choice is ours.

Until next time.

Beth