I was having lunch the other day with a friend who knows me very well. Several times I caught myself staring over her shoulder, unable to look her in the eye. I had no trouble with eye contact when she was speaking - only when I was answering her questions. As I thought back over our conversation later, I wondered about that. I wasn't trying to be evasive - I answered each question as honestly as I could. Part of my 'eye trouble' was habit, staring into nothingness trying to gather my thoughts, but after the third time I really questioned what my body language was revealing and I wondered, "Am I afraid she'll see through me?"

It's not that I would ever expect judgment from this friend; on the contrary, I have found her to be the safest haven for each of my deep-rooted secrets. But I realized I still have some wall-smashing to do in my life. I've torn down a number of those obstacles already - you know, those barriers we raise to protect ourselves from people who may not be as trustworthy as we'd like.

Don't get me wrong, barriers are good and protection sometimes needed, but walls - walls seemingly made to protect you - can end up doing just the opposite. They'll keep you from forging deeper relationships with the people who matter most to you and can ultimately lead to putting distance between you and God - your most important relationship of all.

I built walls early in my life - brick by brick protecting myself and closing off the outside world. So I've been working at this wall demolition for quite a while now and I've found that they are harder to tear down than to put up! One difficulty is my fear of taking away my familiar protection. It involves a risk of trusting people - which I've never been very good at. The other problem is the likelihood of my tripping and falling over the debris. And then there's the whole cleaning up the mess...

We all have issues. Some of us more than others. But God is in the business of restoration and re-formation. We are all being 'remodeled' so to speak. The whole point of remodeling is to replace the old with new - and that requires some demolition. Removing walls in your life can end up messy, even be a little frightening. It means stepping out in faith and trusting the Master Builder.

So I'm pulling out my sledge hammer again and breaking down some more walls. I'm sure there will be a mess, and yes, its a little scary - but I can't wait to see the results of God's remodel of me!

All for Him,

Missy

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"Hello, my name is Missy and I'm a Worrier-About-What-Other-People-Think. It's called being a people-pleaser and I want to change, but I need help! I try hard to be my own individual, but sometimes I'm overcome with embarrassment with what I perceive others think of me."

Do you have trouble with trying to live your life according to what others think? My husband is always challenging me in this area of my life.

This is my husband's car.

It's his pride and joy.

He bought it off the internet for $800

It's a tow car. He's pulled it behind RV's, buses, tractor trailers, even a cement mixer!

It's taken a beating being towed 96,000 miles

and driven over 56,000 miles.

It's needed a few repairs.

Been rammed into, and once lost two wheels while being towed.

When his car got too full to hold all of his extra steel and tools he removed the backseat

and bolted the spare to the roof.

A guy once stopped him on the George Washington bridge and tried to remove it - "Oops, my bad!"

His stories about this little gem are endless.

And that's the difference between men and women.

He glows with pride, while I just try not to cringe when he drives me to church in it!

All for Him,

Missy

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Okay, I know I'm young, I have plenty of time, and I've only been married 2 years, but.I want a baby. I made the decision a long time ago that my "career" choice was to be a stay-at-home mom, so working the 9-5 while waiting 'til we're financially stable enough for me to quit and stay home is less than satisfying. Add to that the fact that it seems everyone I know is either pregnant, just had a baby, or is chasing around a toddler and I'm even more anxious to start my own family.

So when I attended a banquet for my brother's college graduation from a very small Bible school you can imagine how I felt when I got a glimpse of an old roommate who had just days before announced she was 12 weeks pregnant on Facebook. Oh please, I thought, Please please please don't see me. I don't think I can handle this right now. As I kept my head down and casually shielded my face, it wasn't too long before I heard that familiar voice exclaim, "Emily! It's so good to see you!" And of course my brother would ask where they were sitting, and of course they would love to sit at our table, and of course she would sit down next to me. Seriously, God? Seriously? As much as I want a baby right now, with my husband jobless and even when he finds a job, having a baby may be years away, and You're seriously going to stick a pregnant lady beside me all night? I grimaced and tried to offer the most sincere congratulations I could muster as she shared all the stuff those pregnant women share. Of course there was no morning sickness, no discomfort at all. And of course her boss is arranging it so she can work from home. And oh yeah, did I mention she's lost weight and looks great?

As the evening progressed and I kept throwing God up a "Seriously?" every so often a verse began to interrupt my thoughts. "Rejoice with those who rejoice." Nope, my selfish thoughts argued with God. Nope, no way, no how. I cannot be happy for her, I cannot. And now God You are just being mean. You torture me then You expect me to rejoice?! But as I looked at her, admiring that pregnant glow and her beaming smile, and as God kept running that verse thru my head my heart began to soften, and I no longer wished that she'd have an ugly baby. In fact, I hoped that baby would be a healthy, beautiful baby and that motherhood would be wonderful for her.

We are to share life together, all of it, the hard stuff and the good stuff. The weeping and the rejoicing. No matter how difficult it may be to find joy in someone else's blessings when we feel we could use some of our own, we are to rejoice with one another. I can still praise God for creating life, even if it isn't one growing inside of me. And how could I dare take one iota of joy from that soon to be mother with my own selfishness? My joy for her only adds to her joy!

So yes, God is definitely serious. He is seriously good, seriously gracious, and seriously showing me that what He's got for me is uniquely for me. The fact that He blesses others doesn't make Him any less good to me. He's got His own timing and own plan for me.

And that.is seriously amazing.

Emily

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How can it be that Memorial Day 2009 is already behind us? Wow! This year is flying by. I've always thought that if it is true that time flies when you're having fun we must be having a blast! We spent out weekend attending graduation parties, which made our son, Clay, start thinking about his.in 2019. That made us laugh, but when I think about how quickly the last 10 years have gone by I know his party will be here before we know it!

Last week I started "Lord Foulgrin's Letter's" by Randy Alcorn, this weekend I finished it. I have decided that it is a book I need to purchase my own copy of, and perhaps a few extra to hand out. Yes, it is that good, it is that thought provoking. I love books like that, books that keep coming to mind long after I've read them. Books that are so full of thought provoking stuff that I want, and even need, to re-read them.

Some of my favorites over the years have been fiction, like "Sophie's Heart" by Lori Wick. "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers is another one. Randy Alcorn has several, both fiction and non-fiction, that are always good to go back to.

And then there's "When Godly People Do Ungodly Things", by Beth Moore. Definitely not a "light read" but oh so worth the time spent to read it! One of the things I have taken away from that book that I think of time and time again is that (in my paraphrase) satan cannot touch our salvation so he aims to destroy our testimony. That thought causes me to stop and think so very often!

There are many other books that I keep handy, I've mentioned Kevin Leman's parenting (and marriage) books in previous blogs - good stuff! "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend is a great one dealing with relationships. "Ten Things You Simply Must Do In Order To Succeed In Life and Love" by Henry Cloud (I think.I can't find my copy.must have loaned it out =) is another one that has given me a new perspective. And then there's "Love and Respect"(on marriage) by Emerson Eggerichs; "Faith Training" (parenting) by Joe White; "When I Lay My Isaac Down" (surrender) by Carol Kent;..so many books. So many thought provoking reads that have impacted my life and my relationships.

And you know what they all have in common? They all give testimony to the fundamental truths found in the Word of God. And that, just in case you're wondering, is my favorite book of all!

If you're reading the One Year Bible today you read John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in Me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing." Remain in Him my friend, in His word, in daily fellowship with Him thru the great privilege of prayer, and in worship, ahhh, worship.our love song to our King.

Until next time.
Beth

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To all who have served, or are serving, in the Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, Special Forces, Coast Guard, or the National Guard - and to their families who stand beside them and serve by keeping the home-fires burning - thank you!

I grew up an Army brat and Memorial Day has always been a big day for us. I lived overseas as a child, and when I hear the national anthem I don't think of baseball and apple pie (although these are wonderful American traditions) I think of soldiers and sailors and marines - all of our armed service men and women - serving their country. They know and understand what it is to sacrifice for others. They live by words like commitment, honor, obedience, devotion, duty, courage and endurance.

Not only do our military routinely sacrifice what other Americans take for granted, but so do their spouses and families. Moving at a moment's notice, isolation from family and friends, the wrenching transition of being a couple, then a 'single parent' and back again, and the knowledge of what their loved one is preparing for - defending their country - even if it means at the cost of their own life.

We would do well to follow the example of these American heroes. Just as military families are called upon to make daily sacrifices, so are we as believers. Commitment, sacrifice, obedience, devotion, duty, courage, endurance, honor, glory, faith, love, respect - these ideals come straight from the Father's heart.

Hug a Vet today, and thank him or her - for all of us.

All for Him

Missy

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I love American Idol.

Call it a guilty pleasure, but come January when it premieres to May when the finale airs, my Tuesdays and Wednesdays are booked. I'm glued to my TV. I love watching the journey of a kid with big dreams who gets to see them come true. I love watching individuals realize their talent and potential, take hold of that, and grow each week they perform.

This year, the most humble person to grace that stage won it all and shocked most of those who watch the show. In case you hadn't tuned in, from the first week of the "Top 13" the crown was assumed to go to Adam Lambert, a guy with a big voice and who wasn't afraid to take risks or offend people. Meanwhile, quiet, unassuming, and lacking confidence, Kris Allen slowly and gradually won over the country and was officially named the American Idol for the year. His response when they announced his name? First he said, "Are you serious right now?" and secondly, "Adam deserves this. I'm sorry."

That's the kind of guy you like to see splattered with confetti as an audience of 7,000 cheers for him. The kind of guy who when asked at his first audition if he was going to be the next American Idol responded with, "I don't know, I'm sure there are a lot better singers than me." Someone who in his moment of glory recognizes someone else's achievements and is so gracious that he apologizes for winning!

Amazing that a quality I admire so much in a person I don't even know is one I often don't work on having in my own life - humility. It's something that's all over Scripture, and is something God is so passionate about that He detests the proud! Wow, that is something I definitely don't want to be.

It's so easy to be prideful - it's such a part of our human nature. And it comes out in so many ways that we often don't recognize it as pride or as a sin. Most of us hate admitting we're wrong, are quick to judge others, and find ways to justify our sin. Pride often is the gateway to other sin - Proverbs tells us that "Pride comes before the fall."

But humility - what great words the Bible gives us in regards to those who show humility. Humility and fear of the Lord brings wealth and honor and life. With humility comes wisdom. God guides the humble and teaches them His way. He gives grace to the humble, He lifts them up, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

God makes it a whole lot easier to be humble when He offers those kinds of promises. And in my everyday life and the days I'm getting covered in confetti, not only do I want to have the attitude of Kris Allen, but more importantly, I want to have the attitude of my Savior, who had the most reasons to be prideful but showed us what humility truly looks like.

Emily

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Good news! I can hit my new golf clubs and they work just fine after all (I know you care!) A little practice, a little concentration, and I persevered and overcame my disappointment (see Monday's blog).

My dad was believer in hard work. He came from German farming stock and went on to a military career. 'The Colonel' retired from the Army and made sure his troops (including his children) were in good order.

We learned the value of doing our best in everything, including recreational pursuits. When I was growing up, my whole family participated in bowling - everyone was on one league or another. My dad was my coach and every Saturday morning we hit the lanes with great excitement. Only - it wasn't enough that we just went and had fun. My father took bowling very seriously.

It's all in the "approach". No merely walking up to the foul line and hefting the ball down the alley (try that and you'll likely 'loft' the ball airborne and drop it onto the lane - big no-no). I remember the hours of coaching from my dad, off to the side of the lanes on the linoleum leading back to the pins - "One, two, three, slide. Shake hands with the pins. Now, do it again!" telling me to push out with the ball in my right hand, stepping out at the same time with my right leg, nice back swing - no windmilling (wrapping your arm around your back instead of swinging straight) release the ball in a smooth glide. Even today when I bowl I count out that rhythm to myself - "One, two, three, slide!" And when I follow his instructions it all works out pretty good. And it's all due to hours of practice, consistency, and what my dad called, 'stick-to-it-iveness'.

Now, if I would just pursue spiritual discipline with as much diligence as those hours of bowling and my recent ventures in golfing! We don't often think of spiritual pursuits as 'exercise' but it is - Galatians tells us to learn to 'walk in the Spirit', Hebrews to 'run with endurance' the race set before us, and 1 Thessalonians to 'pray without ceasing'. Endeavoring to accomplish anything on our own is not the answer - it's the willingness to yield ourselves that is the key and real 'discipline' of our spiritual lives. Just like the repetition of those bowling steps my dad made me do over and over, when we train ourselves to respond the right way - God's Way - to the circumstances we face in life, we learn a natural rhythm, changing from our instinctive old nature into the new creature we have become in Christ.

All for Him,

Missy

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Reminisce with me, would you? To a time of hairdos most of us would rather forget.

That's right, the mullet. And unfortunately, it would sometimes come in families.

Let's review the anatomy of the mullet, shall we?

Business in the front, party in the back. It's an interesting concept. That on one head, you could have both a business look, and a party look, as if the two would never meet. It never did quite work, and thankfully, the style has faded into obscurity.mostly. You may catch someone sporting this 'do every now and then. If you do, you may want to inform them that even Billy Ray has moved on, and so should they. But please, tell them gently, as I'm sure they have an achy breaky heart. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself!)

You ever try that with God? A business in the front, party in the back kind of approach to your relationship with Him? It's a new term I'm just now inventing - Mullet Christianity. Yes folks, God is over the mullet too.

It's so tempting to want to go to God trying to look good (business in the front) but yet "hiding" all the sin and selfish desires we're not ready to give up (party in the back). Just like mulletheads (another term I'm just now inventing) couldn't fool anyone into thinking they had anything that resembled a business look, neither can we fool God. He sees past all appearances and right into our hearts. We may be able to put on a shiny exterior to others, but we can't with God. They may buy our business front, but God knows we're secretly trying to party.

God wants all of us, He doesn't want someone who only says the right things or who plays the part of a Christian well. He doesn't want us to hang on to anything, and everything He has to offer is so much better than whatever we give up.

So go ahead. Take out those scissors, and chop off the party. God has a better one waiting for you anyway.

Emily

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Have you ever received the e-mail where someone sends you their answers to a list of "this or that?" questions? Then you are suppose to choose your favorite "this or that" and after you've filled it out you're to send it back to whomever sent it to you as well as pass it along to 10 of your friends - and then they get to fill it out, return it to you and pass it on to 10 of their friends and so on and so on and so on.I have enjoyed learning more about my friends that way, but I confess, I'm one of the ones that doesn't take the time to fill it out and pass it along.

I enjoy reading the questions, as well as the answers. And I enjoy thinking about what my answer would be. But whenever I start filling one out it seems like I get interrupted and never get back to it. It's the part of me that I refer to as having "E.D.D."
(Easily Distracted Disorder) I don't think you'll find it in any medical dictionary but it perfectly describes how many of my days seem to go.

My so called "E.D.D." is why I've resorted to making lists. When I have a list I can stay on task.well, at least that's the goal. I have a list for this afternoon (writing this blog is on it =) but I've yet to accomplish anything on the list. I've found the best way to not get defeated on days like this is to add the things that I HAVE completed to my existing list so I can remind myself how productive I've really been!

One of the things I can add (and then "check mark" off of course!) for today is taking daughter, Krista, to the oral surgeon to have her wisdom teeth removed. She's sleeping off the anesthetic as I type.

During the hour and a half that it took for her procedure I sat and read. Actually I sat and re-read a book that I had read about 5 years ago. It's worth re-reading! It's by Randy Alcorn and is entitled "Lord Foulgrin's Letters". This book is a modern day novel along the line of C.S.Lewis's, "The Screwtape Letters".

It is such a thought provoking book. And it really hit me between the eyes because it talks of the evil one's desire to keep us distracted so that we don't take the time to examine our lives, and especially our mortality.

Those distractions are what keep us from God's best! Pure and simple!

May I ask you a personal question? As you sit here reading this blog have you taken the time to read your Bible yet today? I hope so, but if not, I have to tell you dear friend, these words are nothing compared to the Word of God! Same with the daily newspaper.it will change tomorrow, but God's Word never changes. It is alive and will work in our hearts and minds in incredible, amazing ways.but first we must not get distracted from reading it.

If you find yourself with "E.D.D." and realize you need a plan in order to not be distracted from getting God's Word into you on a daily basis please e-mail me at beth@circleoffriends.fm - I would love to send you a One-Year New Testament!

It will be the best thing you could ever add to your daily "to-do" list!

Until next time.
Beth

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We'd like to introduce you to one of them today. Her given name is Corrine, but she has been known to family and friends since 1951 as "Corkey". Meet Corkey Reel, wife to Ken, mother of 4 grown children, grandmother of 8, and great-grandmother of 2! A retired school teacher, Corkey dedicates her time to her family, to the ministry of intercessory prayer, to studying God's word, and to enjoying life with her husband, with whom she will celebrate 55 years of marriage in August!

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You ever feel like you're not being understood?

The Washington Post asked its readers to supply alternate meanings for common words. Some of the winners:

-Coffee - The person upon whom one coughs.

-Flabbergasted - Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

-Gargoyle - Olive-flavored mouthwash

-Balderdash - A rapidly receding hairline

-Oyster - A person who sprinkles conversation with yiddishisms.

-Abdicate - To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Sometimes our words get twisted around and the person hearing or reading them comes away with a completely different idea than what we intended. People have a way of finding a whole new meaning to something we've said that we could never come up with.

I have to admit that I'm guilty of doing that to others as well. They say one thing, but I'm so sure they meant something else I interpret it the way I assume it should be interpreted. Miscommunication seems to be the root of so many arguments, problems, and issues that I've had to deal with in my life. And all too often, the communication failure occurs on my end.

James tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. If we could only do that in every situation, think of how many problems with others we could avoid? I'm not always quick to listen, that's for sure. I'm quick to jump in (my husband hates how often I interrupt him) and I'm even quicker to assume what someone else meant instead of finding out what they actually meant.

Slow to speak.well, I've already admitted to interrupting so much that there's no way that could be true of me! How often do I actually stop and think before I speak? The words fly out of my mouth so quickly and I often regret them once they're out. Jesus said in Matthew that out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Not only do I need to be careful when speaking I need check my heart. It won't come out if it's not already in me!

And slow to anger.wow, that's an emotion that flares up pretty quickly. When I get angry, I usually justify feeling it and let my words and actions show that anger. But anger has no room in a Christian's heart. Again in Matthew Jesus says on the Sermon on the Mount that it had been said not to murder or you would face judgment, but He says if you're angry with your brother you're subject to judgment. I like to think that anger isn't really a big sin because it's an emotion I can't control. But Jesus says so clearly that we cannot be angry with one another. And how often am I angry at someone because I've misunderstood what they've said? Because I've not been quick to listen and slow to speak?

It's such a simple phrase that James give us, but it's so profound and it's really the only way to communicate with others. If in every difficult interaction, I would choose to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, how different my relationships with others would be!

And maybe then coffee could just be coffee.

Emily

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Friend: (according to Webster) 1. a person whom one knows well and is fond of
2. an ally, supporter, or sympathizer

Think back to your childhood.who was your first non-family-member friend?

Mine was Tammy, she lived a mile away, we had many days of playing with Barbie's (she even had a Ken doll!), riding bike, and doing fun stuff on her granddad's farm - horses, jeeps, mini-bikes, and frozen ponds. Wow, what childhood memories!

My first memory of Tammy is when we attended a high school sponsored "Play-School"; I believe we were 3 or 4 years old. (That was back in the days of Home Economics classes and Future Homemakers of America.) We attended all of our school years in the same district, and were even placed in different classrooms in 3^rd grade so we would learn to know other kids as well! We graduated the same year, and, of course, were in each others weddings. Babies came, and life took us in different directions, but when we see each other today that "fond"ness of friendship still remains.

Another friend - perhaps an unlikely friendship according to the world - is my mother-in-law, Esther. I love time spent with my mother-in-law. Whether it's an hour walk, a road trip to wherever, a day spent working on a project (or Christmas shopping), or days in a row on vacation. I can always count on good conversation and laughter..lots of laughter.

We entered each other's lives back in 1975, when her son and I first had "eyes" for each other. I was a bit intimidated by her for the first several years, but ultimately her friendship, and what I now recognize as mentoring, has probably had more influence on who I am today than any other relationship I can think of. (yup, you can blame her! =)

Esther was the first adult that I remember talking to me.not telling me, not teaching me (although she did end up teaching me a lot too), but just talking to me. Perhaps what she did best was listen, and then she and I talked thru the possibilities. Talking, listening, encouraging, I think we still do that for each other today.

Now don't get me wrong.we don't always see eye to eye on every topic of conversation. In fact, we've had some heated conversations regarding a variety of subjects! But the willingness to listen and talk thru the possibilities has brought us closer and closer thru the years. That is a gift, a precious gift that I am so thankful for!

She's been a great example of mentoring, mothering, and friendship. Her support thru all these years has been invaluable. I just hope someday I can be that kind of mother-in-law!

Until next time.
Beth

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I recently mentioned my visit to my sister's home on Chesapeake Bay. I was mostly focused on the water, because I love it, but her home is lovely, too! I could tell you all about her wonderful decorating and beautiful art pieces and collectables, the pictures, the furniture - but what I most want to share with you is in her kitchen.

Her home is right on the beach, but it's not the 'beachfront' lot. That might normally not make a huge difference, but the home that was built after theirs is three stories high. Strict building codes for their neighborhood declare that they shouldn't have built that high, but nevertheless - it dwarfs my sister's house. It's a constant frustration not only because it blocks their view - but the houses are built closer than inner city tenement buildings! Which means Randi's once-lovely view of the water turned into a mass of window-glare staring down at her.

I'll get to my point! She and her husband did this...

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Meet Finnegan

Poor little guy has had it rough. He survived a 40 foot fall from a tree, only because he landed on his sister. She unfortunately didn't make it, but Finnegan was taken in by an animal lover who decided to nurse him back to health.

Mademoiselle Giselle, a pregnant Papillion was definitely intrigued by Finnegan's arrival to her home.

And it wasn't long before she would drag Finnegan's bed across the house over to her own. Her owner finally gave up the battle and let Finnegan sleep with Giselle.

When Giselle gave birth to her puppies, it became hard to tell Finnegan apart from the others!

She would even let him nurse off of her. Finnegan had truly become her own.

Even the puppies couldn't tell the difference between themselves and Finnegan. He was just another sibling to them.

So here he was, this little creature who suffered a pretty big trauma and could have died if left out on his own, brought into a completely new environment where he seemingly didn't belong. How could a dog and a squirrel possibly find a way to bond? How could a dog let what we consider a rodent near her own pups, let alone nurse off of her? And yet here Finnegan is, not only befriended but part of a family.

A beautiful picture of what the family of God should look like, isn't it? The hurting, the broken, and the wounded can come and find a place to belong, no matter what they look like, who they are, or how different they may seem. They can find a place to heal and people to love them through it. And they can find what we all really long for - a home and their place in a family. How amazing that we can be Giselle in someone else's life!

After all, we were all Finnegan once.

Emily

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