I am a pack rat.

I discovered this after years of vowing to not take after my mother - or her mother. Despite my determination, alas! I horde things. Usually useless things. This became apparent when we moved from Ohio to Nebraska after living in the same house for sixteen years. We not only scaled down by sorting, packing, and giving away much of our accumulated 'stuff', we actually hired a dumpster and filled it to the brim!

We looked less like a family heading west and crossing the prairie in a covered wagon and more like the whole wagon train by the time we had made two trips with the largest moving van we could find.

So what does a woman who is moving halfway across the country pack up and take with her? I thought we had thrown away everything we could until we got out west and I discovered I'd packed our 'junk drawer' pretty much as-is. Here are a few of the treasures I absolutely could not live without:

--Two balloons and a partial roll of crepe paper - I guess I just wanted to be ready for a party - although not much of one

--Stack of fifty business cards - with totally the wrong information - address, phone, & email.

--Odd shaped sponges I cut for some reason - their purpose long lost to me now, but I might think of it again and want them - for something or other.

--Eyeglass cases - five of them - not including the one I actually keep my glasses in.

--Parts of a wooden necklace made for me by my five year old son (that was only eightteen years ago- do you think I saved it long enough?)

--A hoof pick (although even without owning a horse that might actually have come in handy out west).

--Burger King toy - might need that for a treat for one of my kids - who were 23, 21, and 19 when we moved!

--Name tag from my old job - at least people will know my name.

--Wooly Willy - the little toy that you use a magnet to draw with little fillings that give him a beard or head of hair - useful in case I get bored and need something to do.

--Boot hooks that I used with my knee-length riding boots (which I reluctantly pitched when I found that a mouse had chewed through them).

--Last, but not least, a door knob from our hundred year old house we left in Ohio. Memories - priceless!

This list was funny when I sat down and wrote it out 4 years ago in Nebraska - it's less so now after moving south to TN and then back to Ohio - and I still have everything in my junk drawer! Bad enough to haul it across the country, but you would think I would have the sense to throw it out when I got there. We did manage to reduce our overall 'stuff' and only needed one moving van and one trip back east. But the junk drawer that I had packed to go west? I packed it up again, took it east and south - then north again, right back to where we started!

Why do we hold onto things? I can see my fist now - clutched so tightly around something that seems so important at the time, but like all these items - essentially worthless. Perhaps they are past their prime usefulness (toys for kids that are all grown up, a hoof pick for a horse that I no longer have, business cards that have out-dated information) or maybe they are things that once meant alot to me (the necklace my son made when he was in kindergarten, a doorknob from the house we used to live in). Or maybe it's not things so much as dreams that I won't give up, or plans that I've made that aren't coming to fruition, or maybe just wanting to do things my own way.

As long as my hand is closed, grasping onto what I think is best, most important, 'can't live without' items, all these things that I think I might need or use or don't want to give up, it is closed to all the things God wants to give me. It's time to let go of all that I've held onto for fear of what I might lose out on (whether or not it's useful to me now!) It's time to open my hand, holding it out for all the blessings God has promised - His provision, His plans for me, His dreams and purpose for my life.

What about you? Are you holding on to things from your past - good or bad - or dreams and plans you made that haven't quite worked out the way you wanted? Perhaps its time for you to let go, too. Open your hand and let God fill it.

As for me, I'm headed to clean out my junk drawer!

All for Him,

Missy

Labels: Missy