Mother's Day
My first Mother's Day was bittersweet. I was a mother - without a child.
When I first got married, I wasn't sure I would ever be able to have children. The struggle of trying to accept God's will if that meant the loss of my heart's desire is one many women know. After the miracle happened and I found out I was expecting, my pregnancy went well up until six weeks before my due date when I went into labor and our son, Joel, was stillborn.
From the longing to have a child, to the sorrow of loss, and then the challenge of raising three healthy children, I have been on the emotional roller coaster of motherhood. When we lost Joel I buried my grief deep inside because I thought that anything less would be a sign of weak faith and lack of trust in God. When I finally let go of all the pain I was holding onto and allowed God to begin the healing process, one of the things that helped me most was being grateful for all the ways I could see God's hand even through the dark days. I had prayed for our child to be used of God to further His kingdom. God answered that prayer in an unexpected way, but He definitely used my precious baby boy to bring Himself glory.
I could list so many ways God was with us through that time - He taught me that every trial is designed by His hand, and He knew me so well that He provided just what I needed - My mom 'just happened' to come visit me (from out of state) when I wasn't even sure I was in labor! From all the details of how my labor and delivery went to the people God brought into my life that could help me process the grief and heal, I had a whole list of things to be grateful about. At the top of that list was that I was a mother. I experienced the joy and wonder of carrying and nurturing a child within me. I wasn't sure what the future might hold, but I knew so many women who, like me, longed to be a mother and would never have that opportunity.
I have thought a great deal about being a mother this last week - what it means, with all its blessing, privilege, and responsibility. I have also thought a great deal about what it means not to be a mother. I remember the longing, the waiting, the tears and the prayers, the unknown. I can't know the mind of God, nor can I explain abortion, abuse, and neglect contrasted to a godly woman's barrenness. Except to say that sin entered the world and we're not in Eden anymore, Toto. The amazing thing to me is that God will use our greatest trials, challenges, and sorrows and bring good from them.
I have known women on all parts of the spectrum - women longing to have a child and unable, grieving women who have lost their child, women overwhelmed with motherhood and struggling to do the best they can. God can work in each of these situations. He can fill the emptiness, give strength and wisdom to the beleagured and careworn, bring hope to the frustrated, give comfort to the broken-hearted and offer forgiveness to those who have failed.
Whatever God has chosen for your life - with children to raise in your home or without - the simple fact is that children are a blessing - to everyone - and each of us has an opportunity to nurture - to teach, to train, to love, to cherish - the children in our lives, whether that be children of your heart, or children of your blood.
All for Him,
Missy
When I first got married, I wasn't sure I would ever be able to have children. The struggle of trying to accept God's will if that meant the loss of my heart's desire is one many women know. After the miracle happened and I found out I was expecting, my pregnancy went well up until six weeks before my due date when I went into labor and our son, Joel, was stillborn.
From the longing to have a child, to the sorrow of loss, and then the challenge of raising three healthy children, I have been on the emotional roller coaster of motherhood. When we lost Joel I buried my grief deep inside because I thought that anything less would be a sign of weak faith and lack of trust in God. When I finally let go of all the pain I was holding onto and allowed God to begin the healing process, one of the things that helped me most was being grateful for all the ways I could see God's hand even through the dark days. I had prayed for our child to be used of God to further His kingdom. God answered that prayer in an unexpected way, but He definitely used my precious baby boy to bring Himself glory.
I could list so many ways God was with us through that time - He taught me that every trial is designed by His hand, and He knew me so well that He provided just what I needed - My mom 'just happened' to come visit me (from out of state) when I wasn't even sure I was in labor! From all the details of how my labor and delivery went to the people God brought into my life that could help me process the grief and heal, I had a whole list of things to be grateful about. At the top of that list was that I was a mother. I experienced the joy and wonder of carrying and nurturing a child within me. I wasn't sure what the future might hold, but I knew so many women who, like me, longed to be a mother and would never have that opportunity.
I have thought a great deal about being a mother this last week - what it means, with all its blessing, privilege, and responsibility. I have also thought a great deal about what it means not to be a mother. I remember the longing, the waiting, the tears and the prayers, the unknown. I can't know the mind of God, nor can I explain abortion, abuse, and neglect contrasted to a godly woman's barrenness. Except to say that sin entered the world and we're not in Eden anymore, Toto. The amazing thing to me is that God will use our greatest trials, challenges, and sorrows and bring good from them.
I have known women on all parts of the spectrum - women longing to have a child and unable, grieving women who have lost their child, women overwhelmed with motherhood and struggling to do the best they can. God can work in each of these situations. He can fill the emptiness, give strength and wisdom to the beleagured and careworn, bring hope to the frustrated, give comfort to the broken-hearted and offer forgiveness to those who have failed.
Whatever God has chosen for your life - with children to raise in your home or without - the simple fact is that children are a blessing - to everyone - and each of us has an opportunity to nurture - to teach, to train, to love, to cherish - the children in our lives, whether that be children of your heart, or children of your blood.
All for Him,
Missy
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