Our computer system at work got the latest and greatest update last night, which meant we were seeing a lot of that 6 letter word none of us like…change. “This screen looks funny!” and “They changed the colors?!” and even a big “Uuugggggggghhhh” was muttered as we all logged onto our computers and started the day. (Okay, admittedly, the last one came from me!)

Ask my mom, change has never been something I was ever up for. When she got a new kitchen table, you would not believe the grief I gave her. I was quick to point out that it did not match her cabinets and share that I really did not think it looked good at all in the room – when it really looked perfectly fine. How dare she take away the table I had sat at every night for as long as I could remember, eating her delicious dinners? Sure it was old, wobbly, and beat up from three little kids doing everything imaginable on it…but to get a new table? Well, that was just ridiculous! And when my parents were kind enough to buy me a new bed when I was 15, despite the fact that it was much more comfortable, I slept on the floor that night in rebellion.

I’ve since grown a little in that area. When my parents got me a new bed when I got married I was very thankful this time! But I’m still not one that goes out looking for change.

It would happen that just moments after typing that last sentence a few days ago my life has pretty much turned upside down. My husband called me to let me know the huge change coming our way – he had lost his job.

Now, here I am, faced with the challenge of believing what I was going to say a few days ago, that when the big changes come our way we can trust the God that never changes. With all the questions, doubts, fears, and worries I’m staring at right now, will I look to the One who is constant in my life to hold me steady? Or will I let the uncertainty of the future shake my faith? It’s here where the rubber meets the road as they say.

I hate changes in my life. I hate going through them, I hate the hardship they bring. But every time I look back over what felt like a broken path, I see the beauty God made of the mess I had made it through. As difficult as the situations are that come, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that those changes are the ones God uses to shape me and mold me to make me more like who He wants me to be.

So am I ready for this change? No way. Is my heart where it needs to be? I only wish. I know I will struggle with this in the days and weeks and months to come until our lives are “settled” again. But I can rest in the hope I have that all this lies in my Heavenly Father’s capable hands.

And in the moments when the changes scare me, I’ll curl up in His lap comforted by the knowledge that He is always the same.

Emily