Three Little (Big) Words
Okay...what are those three little words that moms LOVE to hear? Hmmm... "More money please?" "You're getting fat." "You're getting old." "You're getting gray." (I'm sure there are many more adjectives that could fill in those blanks!) Alas...those three words are, of course, "I love you!". My daughters have always seemed to be more comfortable at expressing those words than my son is. Especially now that they are well past 'grown', that beloved phrase comes readily and seems to hold with it a new meaning of seriousness. When I hear my girls say it, I know they absolutely mean it, and they are not simply reciting it much like one would say "God bless you" after someone sneezes! It's as if they are implying, "I hope you truly believe me, Mom, when I say 'I love you'; because I really do with all of my heart!" Their profession of love toward me at this stage of their lives is kind of like the amplified version of the Bible! Believe me...I LOVE IT!!
However, did I mention my son? Oh yes...Darian. I suppose being thirteen...and a boy...makes it pardonable that he does not utter that precious phrase as often as I would like to hear it. Suffice it to say, I will take what I can get, when he wants to give it! I have learned that he shows his affections toward me in his unique ways, and that those ways change as he changes. One of his traditions, STILL, is his bedtime routine. Even at the mature age of thirteen, he HAS to have either me or his dad tuck him in bed each night and say prayers with him. If it happens to be his dad, Darian still doesn't want to go to sleep without me saying good night as well, and then his final THREE WORDS to me as I go out the door are... "Check on me." And I do. Each night that I possibly can, I tiptoe back into his room and 'check on him'. Even when he is sound asleep, he has faith that I will do as he has asked. This is one precious memory!
Before I leave his room, and before he says "check on me", I always say to him, "I love you"...to which he responds, "...Love you, too". His response is without fail, but it is always triggered by my saying that much needed phrase to HIM first. I'm very okay with that. I have never said anything to the contrary about it to him. I just love to hear him say that he loves me...no matter what the motivation.
The other night, I needed to run a quick emergency errand for my mother-in-law. It was nothing major; it just needed to be done in a timely manner. Darian opted to stay home while I was gone. As I was ready to leave, I noticed that he was in the bathroom, so I just said my good-byes through the closed door. He asked me to call him when I was on my way home. I said I would, and then I said 'good-bye'. He also said 'good-bye'. Then, with my back already turned, I heard his voice through that closed door as he said, "I love you, Mom". I responded with "I love you, too", and then I was gone. Now he doesn't know what transpired next...and you, dear readers, may think I am an emotion-filled quack...but that is okay. (I probably am!) I cried. Do you know how my heart felt...no...how my WHOLE body felt...just to hear him say those words with such conviction? And to say them without his phrase being a 'necessary' response to my phrase? That is pure joy! Honestly, I am still cherishing that memory. Don't get me wrong...Darian has spoken that beautiful phrase purely by his own intrinsic motivation before; it just isn't as frequent as that of my girls.
As I thought about how I felt when he spoke those words to me, I found myself thinking about my heavenly Father...Abba Father...Daddy. I know He loves me, and I know that I desire to do the 'right' things to show my love FOR Him TO Him. But, does He get an extra charge when I spontaneously blurt out to Him, "I LOVE YOU!!" Oh, I want Him to! I want Him to know that my love for Him comes from deep within me, and it is not merely a response to His love for me. It is also a response that CAN'T BE HELPED OR SILENCED. I don't think Darian planned to say "I love you, Mom" in that moment. In that moment, his love spilled out of him because he could no longer contain that emotion...and it splashed all over me! That is what I want to give to Jesus. I want my 'uncontainable' love for Him to just spill out...unplanned...and splash all over Him!
Thanks for reading...
Libby
However, did I mention my son? Oh yes...Darian. I suppose being thirteen...and a boy...makes it pardonable that he does not utter that precious phrase as often as I would like to hear it. Suffice it to say, I will take what I can get, when he wants to give it! I have learned that he shows his affections toward me in his unique ways, and that those ways change as he changes. One of his traditions, STILL, is his bedtime routine. Even at the mature age of thirteen, he HAS to have either me or his dad tuck him in bed each night and say prayers with him. If it happens to be his dad, Darian still doesn't want to go to sleep without me saying good night as well, and then his final THREE WORDS to me as I go out the door are... "Check on me." And I do. Each night that I possibly can, I tiptoe back into his room and 'check on him'. Even when he is sound asleep, he has faith that I will do as he has asked. This is one precious memory!
Before I leave his room, and before he says "check on me", I always say to him, "I love you"...to which he responds, "...Love you, too". His response is without fail, but it is always triggered by my saying that much needed phrase to HIM first. I'm very okay with that. I have never said anything to the contrary about it to him. I just love to hear him say that he loves me...no matter what the motivation.
The other night, I needed to run a quick emergency errand for my mother-in-law. It was nothing major; it just needed to be done in a timely manner. Darian opted to stay home while I was gone. As I was ready to leave, I noticed that he was in the bathroom, so I just said my good-byes through the closed door. He asked me to call him when I was on my way home. I said I would, and then I said 'good-bye'. He also said 'good-bye'. Then, with my back already turned, I heard his voice through that closed door as he said, "I love you, Mom". I responded with "I love you, too", and then I was gone. Now he doesn't know what transpired next...and you, dear readers, may think I am an emotion-filled quack...but that is okay. (I probably am!) I cried. Do you know how my heart felt...no...how my WHOLE body felt...just to hear him say those words with such conviction? And to say them without his phrase being a 'necessary' response to my phrase? That is pure joy! Honestly, I am still cherishing that memory. Don't get me wrong...Darian has spoken that beautiful phrase purely by his own intrinsic motivation before; it just isn't as frequent as that of my girls.
As I thought about how I felt when he spoke those words to me, I found myself thinking about my heavenly Father...Abba Father...Daddy. I know He loves me, and I know that I desire to do the 'right' things to show my love FOR Him TO Him. But, does He get an extra charge when I spontaneously blurt out to Him, "I LOVE YOU!!" Oh, I want Him to! I want Him to know that my love for Him comes from deep within me, and it is not merely a response to His love for me. It is also a response that CAN'T BE HELPED OR SILENCED. I don't think Darian planned to say "I love you, Mom" in that moment. In that moment, his love spilled out of him because he could no longer contain that emotion...and it splashed all over me! That is what I want to give to Jesus. I want my 'uncontainable' love for Him to just spill out...unplanned...and splash all over Him!
Thanks for reading...
Libby
Labels: Libby
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